jumble

[familial/religious abuse stuff]

some serious emotional whiplash involved in finding out “oh, non-denominational baptist? then my upbringing was probably not that cult-like / as much as it was starting to feel like it was”

and then – finding dobson’s dare to discipline. and then other books that were more upsetting (fuuuukkkkk your depiction of “typical teenage behavior” with its ableist gendered shiiitttt; “this society does not understand biblical discipline, beware of accusations of child abuse but! it is a risk For God!”)

and then, talking w my dad about mom distrusting therapy because he does, and learning he thinks of it as an excuse to be egocentric and abusive (like his family) — like, oh. and arghh.

the more i understand where my parents are coming from, the more hopeless i feel to ever change or help them 😦

anyway. thanks to reddit for randomly introing me to the idea of “institutionalized obsessions, i.e. ones that are repeatedly reinforced by an authority figure”

it’s a little hard to crunch, like, there are Arguments to be made about germaphobia being reinforced by advertisements, etc.

But, it definitely gets at scrupulosity pretty well i think (constantly hearing moral prescriptions)

(“social justice scrupulosity” turned up that fanastic piece i just linked by thingofthings, and a ton of reddit anti-sjw truscum, surprise surprise)

((all this aaw material is exploding out of nowhere and alllll i wanna do is duck in a corner and screech))

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