le obvious content warning.
i’ve been talking sex with my therapist lately and Man, verbal words are a lot harder than written. and so i’m thinking about language stuff, and trying not to let the euphemisms-are-childish/repressed shit seep in.
but really, the word “outercourse” is so damn helpful. and it makes “intercourse” actually useful
my kingdom for a non-weird/awful way to specify type of intercourse without actual bodily reference. impossible? idk
also genital words that aren’t 1. medical 2. slurs 3. creepy pet names 4. goofy 5. semi-disparaging (eg junk) 6. too sacred-ifying / reverent
meh. anyway the main thing is, i noticed an interesting result of my word-dodging: i was talking about “resolution” (and avoiding the O word) and that works really well.
like. not all scenes need to end in a big O, but it can be jarring to not have any resolution whatsoever. which of course, if things Need to Stop, you stop and take care of people, goddamn, that’s priority number one.
but especially with my weird persistent sexual pain disorder stuff (as i wrote about in “blue balls” ages ago), there’s like. an actual physical need, not for O but for some kind of resolution — and it’s a very tell-able, okay-now-i’ll-be-fine versus dammit-this-will-hurt.
but so, resolution is a really useful word. not climax or satisfaction, but a sense of being done.
and that works emotionally too, and it parallels trauma-lives-in-the-body stuff and let-your-trauma-response-process-and-resolve stuff, and. yay.