as i’m thinking about writing fiction again, i’m noticing how…not implausible, but un-writeable, certain things feel.

things i’d very much like to see written (or have happen), but cannot possibly seem to construct myself.

namely, at the moment, an arcflux character synching up with another character, so that yeses and noes and desires largely match and mismatches are no big deal.

…when ya fluctuate between repulsion-how-did-i-ever and desire-how-did-i-ever-not, and the latter comes with wanting to be desired (but the former sometimes means feeling dysphoric about being desired)

i cannot even write fix-it fiction.

and i hate that.


2 thoughts on “writeable

  1. queenieofaces says:

    IIII revisited some old fiction recently, and it was a pretty weird experience, because there are parts of it that are just…frighteningly spot-on about the experience of being aro spectrum and traumatized, but the overall outlook in terms of navigating and surviving the world as a traumatized aro spec person is relentlessly bleak. (Also there are vampires which is PRETTY WEIRD, but WHATEVER.) It’s kind of weird to think about the fact that my arguably escapist fiction…wasn’t particularly escapist at all? So, yeah, I feel you.

    (Also I’m now very tempted to write fix-it fic for my own fiction which ?????!!!!????)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sieketya says:

      Writing better worlds and escapism is hard and probably takes a kind of strength. I think it’s very worth doing anyway, though. Less dystopian, more utopian please.


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