- A femme who strongly prefers to receive (usually sexual) touch, but not give it; who technically fits the definition of paper, but uses stone, perhaps because it is more recognizable, or perhaps to signal they are seeking someone stone (such as a stone butch), or perhaps some other reason.
- A femme who strongly prefers to give (usually sexual) touch, but not receive it; who is stone.
Femme: Inherently queer / challenging cisheteronormativity. Does not necessarily relate to feminine, or woman, at all. May be a means of resisting or reclaiming or redefining misgendering on one’s own terms. Not necessarily related to how one looks or is perceived. Not necessarily about presentation; see also expression, embodiment, manifestation.
Sex-Repulsed, Sex-Averse, and Sex-Conflicted: What it says on the tin. People vary on preferred terms of identification and are not all asexual-spectrum.
Sex-Indifferent and Sex-Ambivalent: The usual self-identifications for being indifferent/ambivalent towards sex. Not quite the same words, they have different connotations and different people may identify with one and not the other. Again, does not necessarily imply someone is on the asexual-spectrum.
Sex-Neutral: Contrast with Sex-Positive versus Sex-Negative, the Ethical Slut versus the Ethical Prude. A third option which views sex itself as neutral, and strives to address both repression/desexualization and compulsory sexuality/hypersexualization and rape culture.
WORDS TO AVOID:
Third gender: Colonialist/imperialist history, used to eradicate indigenous and PoC and non-Western genders, very racist at this point.
Other gender: See third gender.
Pillow princess, do me queen: Derogatory. Often misgendering. Historically used to refer to paper, to people who strongly prefer to receive but not give (usually sexual) touch. May be reclaimed, but should not be used for others without consent, even fondly. Not an umbrella or generic term.
Sex-Favorable: Has consent / compulsory sexuality issues, and is rarely an actual claimed self-identification (much like “sexually available”). Usually implies an asexual-spectrum person would be happy to have sex whenever, regardless of context.
Sexually Available: Again, consent / compulsory sexuality issues, and rarely an actual claimed self-identification. Implies constant sexual availability regardless of context.