I clicked that so fast and my goodness do I recommend. Continue reading
My mom told me touch is my primary love language. (Ay, that book.)
True, touch is more intense to me than, apparently, many other people. (Maybe to do with autistic, maybe to do with hard-of-hearing, whatever.)
So why is it surprising that it’s also the most dangerous?
This is a brief(?) elaboration on why I consider Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) a vastly superior slogan to Safe Sane Consensual (SSC), and a bit of history on the two.
[content: kink, ableism and “sanity,” medical institutionalization and legal discrimination, brief discussion of abuse] Continue reading
[content: sexual pain and mild talk of genitals, masturbation; compulsory sexuality, pressure to have sex, manipulation]
I want to talk about “the point of no return” in sex, and feeling unable to withdraw consent. Continue reading
I have five partially-finished drafted posts for this blog, which could sort of be posted as-is, and zero spoons. Still here though. Maybe some direction would help.
Should I finish up the one about sexual pain disorders, the grey-a primer for therapists, the “hating allos” one, the femme one, or the giving/receiving one? Or write a brandnew one elaborating on rarity and attraction?
[compulsory sexuality, grooming, sexual violence mention]
Painting sexual attraction as “rare” creates a scarcity model and increases pressure to act.
It plays into social grooming for sexual violence so hard.
I’ve been trying to articulate this for so long, and I was situating the problem in me. No.
(This is amplified if accompanied by the concept of “fleeting” or time-limited or fluctuating. While all these and rareness are real experiences, the way we talk about them — and expect sexual attraction to lead to sex — is so damaging.)