FUCKED zine: Recommendation and Thoughts

So I noticed when Asexual Agenda announced the new contributors, La Rain’s profile linked to a tumblr for a zine called FUCKED, about sexual dysfunction and sex-positivity and queerness.

I clicked that so fast and my goodness do I recommend. 

Links on Grey and Spectrum and “Not Ace/Aro But”

(Inspired by this poster conversation, with my response here. Cross-posted from tumblr here.)

A brief thought on touch and narratives

My mom told me touch is my primary love language. (Ay, that book.)

True, touch is more intense to me than, apparently, many other people. (Maybe to do with autistic, maybe to do with hard-of-hearing, whatever.)

So why is it surprising that it’s also the most dangerous?

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RACK vs SSC — Kink, Consent, Ableism, Agency

This is a brief(?) elaboration on why I consider Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) a vastly superior slogan to Safe Sane Consensual (SSC), and a bit of history on the two.

[content: kink, ableism and “sanity,” medical institutionalization and legal discrimination, brief discussion of abuse]

“Blue Balls,” Sexual Pain Disorders, and “The Point of No Return”

[content: sexual pain and mild talk of genitals, masturbation; compulsory sexuality, pressure to have sex, manipulation]

I want to talk about “the point of no return” in sex, and feeling unable to withdraw consent.

draft land….

I have five partially-finished drafted posts for this blog, which could sort of be posted as-is, and zero spoons. Still here though. Maybe some direction would help.

Should I finish up the one about sexual pain disorders, the grey-a primer for therapists, the “hating allos” one, the femme one, or the giving/receiving one? Or write a brandnew one elaborating on rarity and attraction?

Talking “‘rare’ sexual attraction” is harmful

[compulsory sexuality, grooming, sexual violence mention]

Painting sexual attraction as “rare” creates a scarcity model and increases pressure to act.

It plays into social grooming for sexual violence so hard.

I’ve been trying to articulate this for so long, and I was situating the problem in me.  No.

(This is amplified if accompanied by the concept of “fleeting” or time-limited or fluctuating.  While all these and rareness are real experiences, the way we talk about them — and expect sexual attraction to lead to sex — is so damaging.)