RACK vs SSC — Kink, Consent, Ableism, Agency

This is a brief(?) elaboration on why I consider Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) a vastly superior slogan to Safe Sane Consensual (SSC), and a bit of history on the two.

[content: kink, ableism and “sanity,” medical institutionalization and legal discrimination, brief discussion of abuse] Continue reading

draft land….

I have five partially-finished drafted posts for this blog, which could sort of be posted as-is, and zero spoons. Still here though. Maybe some direction would help.

Should I finish up the one about sexual pain disorders, the grey-a primer for therapists, the “hating allos” one, the femme one, or the giving/receiving one? Or write a brandnew one elaborating on rarity and attraction?

Talking “‘rare’ sexual attraction” is harmful

[compulsory sexuality, grooming, sexual violence mention]

Painting sexual attraction as “rare” creates a scarcity model and increases pressure to act.

It plays into social grooming for sexual violence so hard.

I’ve been trying to articulate this for so long, and I was situating the problem in me.  No.

(This is amplified if accompanied by the concept of “fleeting” or time-limited or fluctuating.  While all these and rareness are real experiences, the way we talk about them — and expect sexual attraction to lead to sex — is so damaging.)