writeable

as i’m thinking about writing fiction again, i’m noticing how…not implausible, but un-writeable, certain things feel.

things i’d very much like to see written (or have happen), but cannot possibly seem to construct myself.

namely, at the moment, an arcflux character synching up with another character, so that yeses and noes and desires largely match and mismatches are no big deal.

…when ya fluctuate between repulsion-how-did-i-ever and desire-how-did-i-ever-not, and the latter comes with wanting to be desired (but the former sometimes means feeling dysphoric about being desired)

i cannot even write fix-it fiction.

and i hate that.

on being arcflux

While I can’t directly respond to the call for more sharing on the subject of sex-favorable asexuality, Talia’s post reminded me that I don’t think I’ve seen many essay-style posts on personal experiences of being arcflux, at least not lately, so that’s what this’ll be.  My goals here: a handy post for linking if I […]

https://theacetheist.wordpress.com/2015/10/09/on-being-arcflux/

tryina figure out how to reblog on wordpress, bloop bloop CHECK OUT THIS RAD POST

autistic grace touch stuff

so Elizabeth just re-linked Sciatrix’s old 2011 carnival of aces…and it has some really good gems.  mmm talking about Rent and touch.

noli me tangere especially speaks to me about paper maché things and touch sensitivity and frame-of-mind and dissociation and embodiment and selectively wanting touch overload zzzt and. dang.

this is when i wish i knew and was involved in old autistic and nb and grace community; the trans yadas, and dreamwidths, and all of that. it feels like identity groups were more concentrated back then.

rrrrrr i want more talk of touch and identity intersections.

Touch: Paper and Conditions and Complications

This post was for the December 2014 Carnival of Aces, which is on Touch, Sensuality, and Non-Sexual Physical Intimacy. Initially 12/31/14 here.

I wish I was presently better able to compose an essay I would be satisfied with. As-is, I’m settling for churning out a rough, timely, more open-ended piece. Much of this is stitched together from previous posts, journal entries, notes. Lots of links, self-quotes. Lots of “I want to talk about X.”

Ambitions. Here are my keywords, the things I’d like to touch on:

  • Touch aversion
  • Sensory overload
  • Sacred touch
  • Kink, subbing, states of consciousness enabling touch
  • Stone, paper, paper maché; stone butch, stone femme
  • Physical integrity and autonomy
  • Dissociation, depersonalization, derealization, dpdr
  • Presence, embodiment, meditation, contemplative dissociation, rumination, OCD thought-looping and compulsion
  • Repression (memory, physical response) and trauma
  • Catharsis, processing, theatricality

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