A Transparency Post

K, so. I’m currently freaking out a little and doing some serious reevaluating.

2011 in Ace Tumblr History

Or, what I’ve seen semi-affectionately called “AceGate.”

Touch: Paper and Conditions and Complications

This post was for the December 2014 Carnival of Aces, which is on Touch, Sensuality, and Non-Sexual Physical Intimacy. Initially 12/31/14 here.

I wish I was presently better able to compose an essay I would be satisfied with. As-is, I’m settling for churning out a rough, timely, more open-ended piece. Much of this is stitched together from previous posts, journal entries, notes. Lots of links, self-quotes. Lots of “I want to talk about X.”

Ambitions. Here are my keywords, the things I’d like to touch on:

• Touch aversion
• Sensory overload
• Sacred touch
• Kink, subbing, states of consciousness enabling touch
• Stone, paper, paper maché; stone butch, stone femme
• Physical integrity and autonomy
• Dissociation, depersonalization, derealization, dpdr
• Presence, embodiment, meditation, contemplative dissociation, rumination, OCD thought-looping and compulsion
• Repression (memory, physical response) and trauma
• Catharsis, processing, theatricality

Femme? Why?

Initially 12/29/14 here.

I want to write about why the fuck do I see myself as femme, scared though I have been and am to claim it.

Claiming femme…

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Diagrams for stone, paper, and paper mache

Alright, let’s give this a try. Some shoddy MS Paint diagrams to illustrate the definitions of stone (give but not receive), paper (receive but not give), and paper mache (give or receive, but not both at once):

Trauma, Kink, and Processing

*Content warnings for many kinds of trauma*  Initially 1/6/15 here.

I have processed more trauma, more effectively, through kink, than in any other way.

Beginning

Hullo permablog world, did I make it in time to party?

I’ve been blogging on Tumblr since 2011 and, well, it worked as a place to make strong statements but bury them in layers of fandom and miscellany in order to dodge criticism. Good job, past self.

Now, however…strong statements ahoy.

I expect this shall be a mix of unburying/dusting off the old, and generating the shiny new.

Topics to include are primarily non-binariness, ace-spectrum, and paper/stone, all intersected with disability and each other. Probably also featuring femmeness, kink, and glitchy grey metaphor feels. Very probably.

Now, is this a reasonable post length? Not essay, not three-liner? Everything’s properly capitalized? *Ok Cool Hey Alright*