meat and human and body. a love for gore, a squick for words.
And if I were to type like this?
Aside from coming across like a pretentious try-hard, I’d be tempting more than one ghost.
been way too scrambled to put together an ace/christianity zine contribution, but had a like, *Bing* yesterday of ~categories
- things i find comforting to believe, and (so therefore?) do
- things i would find comforting to believe, if only i could, but i don’t/can’t
- things i find discouraging to believe, and (so therefore?) don’t
- things i find discouraging to believe, yet do anyway (and perhaps would like not to?)
the problem isn’t the hard limits and the clear noes and the senses of conviction;
the problem is the wibbly discomfort and the vague unsettled feeling that fails to yield to internal probing and the faintest hint of friction
it’s lack of real-time experience processing and the filter-barriers to noticing recognizing articulating a thought
it’s why-isn’t-this-right and just-wait-a-bit and but-normally-this-feels-like
it’s the tiny quiet hyper-personal accommodations and the Imposing even on those who want to know and it’s conflicted and changeable and Obnoxious
it’s always making room for and avoiding reactions, it’s cost-benefit calculus constantly and subconsciously and it’s
(and then they say what a nice time that was wholly free of suspicion and when do you ever mention how the story ended for you?)